"There's nothing good about a goodbye. It's a very poorly named ritual. It was a bad bye. A very bad bye." -Rory on Gilmore Girls
Four day passes might as well be called fly by passes. I felt like Monday came in a blink of an eye. A New York minute. It was more like a dream than he was really here with us for four whole days. All of a sudden, it was 3:45 pm and we were on our way to the airport. I am sick and emotional and crying. Then we're there and he's getting out of the car and I've completely lost it. I'm standing on the curb of the airport with my D&G sunglasses on not at all hiding the fact that I'm sobbing watching my husband say goodbye to my boys. Of coruse because he's got his military duffel and camo backpack, everyone knows that he's in the army and is staring at us. Now you'd think possibly that I'd be touched by their concern or whatever, but basically I'm just pissed and wish they'd look the f*%k away because I HATE crying in general, let alone in public. So he goes in to the airport and I turn up the movie for the petites and they calm down and I continue to cry as I drive myself to the Urgent Care because my throat feels like sharpened white hot coals have been drug down the back of it and I can no longer take the pain.
This is where it gets really horrifying, at least for myself. I walk in to the Urgent care and I am still choked up trying to keep it together, walk up and sign in and the guy remembers that I had called earlier to make sure that they took our insurance and asked if they were busy around that time because I'd be at the airport anyway. And he ASKS IF I GOT MY HUSBAND TO THE AIRPORT OKAY. To which I nod because I really start to cry all over again. Then I fill out the paperwork while the boys run around the waiting room and the five other people stare at me with wonder at what is wrong with me, and laugh at the boys. I go up again and another girl is taking the paper work and asks if I'm okay and I literally can not speak to answer her. So like after an eternity I choke out that my husband just got on a plane to deploy and she's practically in tears watching me and immediately ushers me back to a room with the boys so I'm not bawling my eyes out in the waiting room.
On a good note, because I was a PATHETIC hot mess, the nurse came in immediately, the doctor came in immediately, we were in and out of there before the other five people in the waiting room even had gone back. I truly appreciated their kindness, even though I was more embarrassed than I've ever been in my life. I absolutely do not cry very often, and NEVER in public, so this really was that uncontrollably kind of crying, because had I been able to control it, I would have never started! Oh and I was told I had strep throat. I was thanking God though that she wrote me a prescription and I could see a light at the end of a tunnel.
As I'm driving home I call my best friend because she had text me earlier in the day and told me to call if I needed to talk because she's incredibly considerate, and must have known I'd fall apart more than even I did. So I'm hysterical on the phone with her and she is patient with me, and gets me to calm down before I get home so I don't freak out my mom who is waiting for us. We get home and I turn around and get my prescription and some chicken broth and all kinds of other stuff that I didn't actually need(although who passes up 99 cent nail polish... I only have like two different colors of nail polish because I don't typically do my own nails) As I'm in the Walgreens, I am getting these texts from Grover... "flights delayed" "going to miss my connection" "Dallas is closed" "Chicago is grounded" I'm kind of freaking out for him because I know he's stressed about getting back there on time. So I get home and I about collapse on the couch and my mom cleans my kitchen, which if you are ever looking to do something nice for me, clean my kitchen because I feel calmer when my kitchen is clean, and she gives me chicken broth and then just sits with me for a few minutes.
Then all of a sudden I get a text... "You might as well head this way, I'm not getting out until tomorrow"
OH MY GOSH HE IS COMING BACK HOME!!!
I kind of immediately felt better because I was going to go get my husband back for another night!! :) Honest to God, all that horrifying emotional out breaks and he's not even leaving and I'm going to see him again. Of course I sprint out the door, mom stays with the boys and I go back and get him. Incredibly happy. He was thrilled. Nothing you can do about bad weather and closed down airports... but sometimes it's a REALLY happy thing and this time was one of them.
We had a great night, and I woke up today feeling much better. I stayed on a high for a long time today that I got more time with him and the boys did too. They were really sad to say goodbye, but I managed to keep my shit together the second time around. Mind you, about 7:30 tonight I had a good cry, but I was alone, in my bathroom and that is the only time I feel comfortable to really cry my heart out. :)
As the quote says at the top(won't be the last Gilmore Girls quote, so get ready) Good byes are not good. Good byes are bad. They suck and I hate it. Everything that is the equivilant sucks as well... see you later, catch ya on the flip side, b'bye... whatever, nothing is happy about leaving someone you love. I'm already starting to feel better. Writing about it all is cathartic. I'll be just fine. In fact I'm sure that I will go to bed at some point tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling much more normal. Not 100%, because that won't happen until he's home again. I'm glad that I can be logical enough to know that I'll be better, helps me when I don't feel it yet.
So for now I'm going to watch some mindless tv, until the boys get tired and I get tired. Tomorrow will start a new and I am looking forward to it.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Daddy's arrival and Easter Weekend
I truly felt like a kid on Christmas Eve on Thursday night. I literally could not fall asleep. That NEVER happens to me anymore. I can fall asleep mid sentence. Thursday night it was a no go. I was only hours away from finally seeing my husband after SIX weeks. Which if you have been following this at all or know me even in passing, you'll know is nothing compared to how much time we are about to spend apart.
So I finally fall asleep and of course then I wake up late the next morning. I rush around the house like a complete mad person getting ready and trying to look amazing. Then I get the boys up and I act like the most obnoxious parent in the world, if they were teenagers they would have cussed me out for being so cheerful as I'm dragging them out of bed. They get dressed and we are off in the car. As soon as we get to the airport and inside I realize the flight is delayed 25 minutes. SERIOUSLY?! Well, little did I know that would be a theme for the weekend, but that'll be included in my next post.
We wait around the not very busy airport(thank God because the petites basically ran around in circles). Then I'm like, okay, we have 10 minutes, let's go potty real quick. So as soon as we are finishing up I get a text that he's landed, and we go rushing out of the restroom and he's already walking out of the terminal. DAMN IT. I wanted to be right there.
The boys were so cute. They were lagging behind me(I was basically in a dead sprint) and Isaac came up and peered up at Grover and looked suspicious. Then he broke into a smile and put his arms up and said "Dada!" In his cute little two year old voice. Lysander on the other hand, came up to be and grabbed my hand and looked and me like he was completely unsure that this was real. Then Grover reached out for him and he let go of my hand and basically my children could not have cared less if I was on the planet for the rest of the weekend. :) Which is to be expected.
Friday was really fun, we all just hung out and played toys and pretty much did nothing. We had pizza and watched a movie and took naps, and just had good old family time. I was blissed out.
Then Saturday roles around and Grover wakes up feeling like complete awfulness. He rallied for the boys and we died Easter eggs and he played outside with Lysander while Isaac was napping.
We had plans to go out to dinner and buy the kids Easter baskets and by the time we were almost through dinner I was feeling really bad too. We took some meds and went to bed decently early, but low and behold Easter morning roles around and we are basically on our death beds. Gigi and paw paw come over for our Easter breakfast and Grover and I can practically not move. This is not how I wanted Easter day to happen. We cancelled the rest of our plans for Easter and just layed around the house. I tried as hard as I could to make the day okay for the kids but I was just in a lot of pain. I even slept on the couch the last night I would get to sleep in a bed with my husband because I wanted him to get some sleep and I was up and down a million times.
By Monday I'm basically in tears the entire day because I'm sad and I'm still so so so so sick. Grover thank goodness is feeling much better by Monday. So we hang out and he does laundry and packs up and the boys play. Everyone but me is pretty much keeping it together and is all good. I'm going to break here because I feel like the end of the weekend should be a completely different post.
Last thought though, I would much rather have been incredibly sick and and have my husband home than healthy and fine and be without him. The difference in this household and in my children and myself is palpable. Even Raleigh was happier. I do my best while he's gone to make the petites happy and get along and have fun things to do, but nothing, absolutely nothing can make up for his absence. They relax when he's here. Feel safer when he's here. Laugh more and get along better when he's here. It's amazing the difference. I don't say this to make Grover feel bad for being gone, or anyone else to pity us that we don't have him with us all the time. I'm proud that my husband serves this country. Even though I don't always feel like it, I'm strong enough to do this on my own. My boys are going to get through it and be fine. I say this because I want Grover and everyone else to know exactly how much Grover means to me, to my children and to our happiness. We love him very very much.
So I finally fall asleep and of course then I wake up late the next morning. I rush around the house like a complete mad person getting ready and trying to look amazing. Then I get the boys up and I act like the most obnoxious parent in the world, if they were teenagers they would have cussed me out for being so cheerful as I'm dragging them out of bed. They get dressed and we are off in the car. As soon as we get to the airport and inside I realize the flight is delayed 25 minutes. SERIOUSLY?! Well, little did I know that would be a theme for the weekend, but that'll be included in my next post.
We wait around the not very busy airport(thank God because the petites basically ran around in circles). Then I'm like, okay, we have 10 minutes, let's go potty real quick. So as soon as we are finishing up I get a text that he's landed, and we go rushing out of the restroom and he's already walking out of the terminal. DAMN IT. I wanted to be right there.
The boys were so cute. They were lagging behind me(I was basically in a dead sprint) and Isaac came up and peered up at Grover and looked suspicious. Then he broke into a smile and put his arms up and said "Dada!" In his cute little two year old voice. Lysander on the other hand, came up to be and grabbed my hand and looked and me like he was completely unsure that this was real. Then Grover reached out for him and he let go of my hand and basically my children could not have cared less if I was on the planet for the rest of the weekend. :) Which is to be expected.
Friday was really fun, we all just hung out and played toys and pretty much did nothing. We had pizza and watched a movie and took naps, and just had good old family time. I was blissed out.
Then Saturday roles around and Grover wakes up feeling like complete awfulness. He rallied for the boys and we died Easter eggs and he played outside with Lysander while Isaac was napping.
We had plans to go out to dinner and buy the kids Easter baskets and by the time we were almost through dinner I was feeling really bad too. We took some meds and went to bed decently early, but low and behold Easter morning roles around and we are basically on our death beds. Gigi and paw paw come over for our Easter breakfast and Grover and I can practically not move. This is not how I wanted Easter day to happen. We cancelled the rest of our plans for Easter and just layed around the house. I tried as hard as I could to make the day okay for the kids but I was just in a lot of pain. I even slept on the couch the last night I would get to sleep in a bed with my husband because I wanted him to get some sleep and I was up and down a million times.
By Monday I'm basically in tears the entire day because I'm sad and I'm still so so so so sick. Grover thank goodness is feeling much better by Monday. So we hang out and he does laundry and packs up and the boys play. Everyone but me is pretty much keeping it together and is all good. I'm going to break here because I feel like the end of the weekend should be a completely different post.
Last thought though, I would much rather have been incredibly sick and and have my husband home than healthy and fine and be without him. The difference in this household and in my children and myself is palpable. Even Raleigh was happier. I do my best while he's gone to make the petites happy and get along and have fun things to do, but nothing, absolutely nothing can make up for his absence. They relax when he's here. Feel safer when he's here. Laugh more and get along better when he's here. It's amazing the difference. I don't say this to make Grover feel bad for being gone, or anyone else to pity us that we don't have him with us all the time. I'm proud that my husband serves this country. Even though I don't always feel like it, I'm strong enough to do this on my own. My boys are going to get through it and be fine. I say this because I want Grover and everyone else to know exactly how much Grover means to me, to my children and to our happiness. We love him very very much.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Special Day at the Park!
On Sunday we were thinking about finally planting the garden... but then it was 82 degrees and really sunny with a slight breeze and we though going to the park would be SUCH a better idea. A few blocks away is a public park in front of a church. I knew there would probably be some other kids there since it was Sunday and the families go there after service. The petites really love playing with other kids.
Grover found this park last summer, and I swear, even though it's been 18 million years since we've been there, they totally remembered it immediately. It really was great to get out and run around with them. Makes me look forward to the warmer weather even more. Definately why I have worked so hard on our backyard. When we got home from the park, they passed out for 2 1/2 hours.
Finally... and this is where things got funny... I planted our anniversary rose bush. I googled how to successfully plant a rosebush because I desperately don't want to kill this thing. I go to our garage, which you'll remember seeing from the pictures of the backyard. I think the actual name for that thing is carriage house, as in horses are supposed to be kept in it I think. I hate it in there. I feel like big huge creepy crawlers are going to swoop down into my hair. To make matters worse, Grover like put all the yard tools up high so I have to reach to get at them and then dust and crap always falls on top of my head. Anyway, I get a shovel that looks like you're supposed to dig holes with. I take G's advice and dig a hole in front of the house, right in front of what I think is the water meter or something. When I went to start digging I was really suprised at how easily the shovel went in to the grown, and for half a second I was really excited this was going to be easy... until I spotted about 12 of these HUGE earth worms that came up with the first shovel full and about screamed.**Begin Tangent** Which would have been awkward because my neighbors were outside working on their insanely immaculate and gorgeous yard and I'm pretty sure they got a good laugh to begin with seeing me out there trying to make my yard look like at least I've tried. Grover is going to be home in 10 days, I don't want him to think I'm going to let our yard look bad while he's gone because I'm pretty sure he'd be upset about that. **End Tangent**
I suck back the scream and keep digging. then I pull the rose bush out of it's little container and realize I have zero ability to judge how big an object is and how big to make a hole. I'm bracing myself again not to scream because I have to use my hands to put some of the dirt back in the hole and oddly, those HUGE earth worms are no where to be seen... yeah, I don't know, but they were gone and I know I didn't imagine them. In the hole the bush went, the dirt packed in over it and then I watered it. Just to forwarn, bush is a little bit of an overstatement now that it's in the ground. It looked big to me when I it was delivered... but in the ground it's like a little itty bitty baby rose bush. :)
We got out the double stroller, which is a really good workout since with the kids in it the thing weighs like 95 lbs. Then to work out even further I ran my butt of chasing the kids around that park. They were both constantly running in opposite directions... strange I know. ;)
The only time I got to stop running around trying to make sure they didn't fall and break a bone was when I got them in the swings. Then I had to start chugging water because I was basically doing side lunges standing in front of them pushing them non stop for at least 20 minutes.
While they napped, I went out front and got some more yard work done. I swear, I will never EVER bitch at Grover again when he goes out and works in the yard for hours and hours. It used to aggrivate me to NO end, but now I completely get that it takes so much time to make the yard look okay. I think that flowers and plants are pretty fun to do, but ACTUAL yardwork... sucks.
I racked up a billion branches in our side front yard/what used to be the front part of the blasted driveway a hundred years ago. I also got the debris out of the "flower bed" that we made in the fall in front of our porch. I actually think that'll be really pretty if by some miracle the flowers bloom.
I suck back the scream and keep digging. then I pull the rose bush out of it's little container and realize I have zero ability to judge how big an object is and how big to make a hole. I'm bracing myself again not to scream because I have to use my hands to put some of the dirt back in the hole and oddly, those HUGE earth worms are no where to be seen... yeah, I don't know, but they were gone and I know I didn't imagine them. In the hole the bush went, the dirt packed in over it and then I watered it. Just to forwarn, bush is a little bit of an overstatement now that it's in the ground. It looked big to me when I it was delivered... but in the ground it's like a little itty bitty baby rose bush. :)
Lesson Learned: I love going to the park and being outside to have fun... not a fan of working outside, and will be looking forward to giving him that job back next summer!
To end the day I went out for drinks with my best friend which was much needed. I think I've come to realize that about four weeks of being at home with the boys and trying to keep up with our schedule and not having any time to myself to relax is my limit. Then I need a few hours out of the house with adults and with VODKA :) Really was a fabulous Sunday.
Until.... dah dah daaaaahhhhh Lysander wakes up with the flu at 2:45 am and I am awake from then until almost 7 am. Poor kid is so pathetic when he's sick. Amazingly, Isaac didn't wake up so he was all kinds of energetic today. Needless to say I can not wait to go to sl.... ZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ.....
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Taking on new roles
There are things that Grover is in charge of around the house. He says that he doesn't do very much around the house. Then every time he leaves for any amount of time it feels like he does a million things around the house because it feels like a million things are added to my "to do" lists. For example, he takes out the trash, feeds the dog and cat, keeps track of the 8 million toys that the boys have, knows how to update my iPhone, etc. With the boys he wrestles, and pretend plays with the little action figures and cars, and just generally gives me a break. With the kids I've already started taking over those things. Of course I also feed the dog and cat and take out the trash. Those things were all immediate. Also they are all things I've done before. This is not...
In this awesome picture, you can see where the dirt is rock hard and filled with even more rocks on the opposite side of where the gravel driveway used to be. To be honest with you, I have no idead where all those concrete slabs came from, but we have a ton of them. Grover put those together so the boys would have somewhere to color with chalk and a place for the basketball hoop to go.
This is where the gravel driveway I keep talking about was. Bane of my existence... All those little dots are rocks. I raked for an hour trying to get the rocks up and it just was fruitless.
So now, I've picked up all the random trash that floated into our yard during the winter. I picked up a THOUSAND branches from storms, all the dog toys that were everywhere and raked up as many rocks as I could. Then I sprayed the crap out of it with bug killer. It's lovely living on a treeline that spiders, ants, mosqitos, fleas, ticks... blah blah blah. The bug killer kills all of them, and please please please don't tell me that I shouldn't treat the yard because chemicals are bad for the dog and kids. What's bad for the dog and kids is a million flea and mosquito bites and mommy having a stroke because a huge spider is anywhere near the house. :)
The next day I went out with the kids and Rae and spread grass seed. Except what I bought was not soley seed, it had fertilizer and other stuff mixed in with it. So when I went to put it in the spreader it was too thick to go in through. Spread it by hand... yup, I had to spread it by hand.
Lysander got the tricycle they are both riding around on last year for his third birthday, and at the time, neither of them wanted much to do with it, but it looks like this summer it will get some really good use! Though I'm definately going to have to teach them how to peddle! Hopefully in the next few weeks I will be able to post pictures of lushiously beautiful grass. I don't have a huge amount of faith in my green thumb, but maybe with a little luck!
The whole goal in doing all this is of course for the boys. The adore the outdoors, they think the backyard is an exciting place to be and explore. I have the worst memory, but I do remember when I was young loving my backyard. I remember thinking it was HUGE, which of course it really wasn't all that big, I was just little. I'd really like to get a sandbox, a water play table, of course we'll probably get a little baby pool as well. It would be really great if they could spend the days out there playing as long as they want, anything to make the summer without daddy just a little more fun!
I know that Grover does this stuff year in and year out and this is only my first time, but I have to say, I really really really hope that it is also my last time! The next time he deploys we will hopefully be living in a new house and one of my dealbreakers for buying a new house will be if the yard is crappy! ;)
This is our backyard after a winter of the dogs running around in the snow and tearing it all up. I'm pretty sure that it probably looks like this every year. It's really rocky out there because there used to be a gravel driveway.
It's hard to see, but to the left of the dog run(which will soon be a vegetable garden, but that's another post) there is a hill, and it has a circular rock pattern on top of it because it used to be a well that was filled in with dirt. These things that used to be there are a "charming" part of living in a house that was built in 1890.
So now, I've picked up all the random trash that floated into our yard during the winter. I picked up a THOUSAND branches from storms, all the dog toys that were everywhere and raked up as many rocks as I could. Then I sprayed the crap out of it with bug killer. It's lovely living on a treeline that spiders, ants, mosqitos, fleas, ticks... blah blah blah. The bug killer kills all of them, and please please please don't tell me that I shouldn't treat the yard because chemicals are bad for the dog and kids. What's bad for the dog and kids is a million flea and mosquito bites and mommy having a stroke because a huge spider is anywhere near the house. :)
The next day I went out with the kids and Rae and spread grass seed. Except what I bought was not soley seed, it had fertilizer and other stuff mixed in with it. So when I went to put it in the spreader it was too thick to go in through. Spread it by hand... yup, I had to spread it by hand.
The bright green stuff is the grass seed. The boys had such a good time playing out in the yard that when I made them go in so I could water the yard, they had total meltdowns. I had forgotten how much they like playing outside. A good reminder of why I am trying so hard to make the backyard a really nice place for them to play this summer.
The whole goal in doing all this is of course for the boys. The adore the outdoors, they think the backyard is an exciting place to be and explore. I have the worst memory, but I do remember when I was young loving my backyard. I remember thinking it was HUGE, which of course it really wasn't all that big, I was just little. I'd really like to get a sandbox, a water play table, of course we'll probably get a little baby pool as well. It would be really great if they could spend the days out there playing as long as they want, anything to make the summer without daddy just a little more fun!
I know that Grover does this stuff year in and year out and this is only my first time, but I have to say, I really really really hope that it is also my last time! The next time he deploys we will hopefully be living in a new house and one of my dealbreakers for buying a new house will be if the yard is crappy! ;)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
HOP!
Today was a really great Sunday. It started out with waffles and Skype with daddy. The boys ate breakfast and talked to their pops, definately started their day out right. Then, since the waffles included syrup, we took a bath to look all spiffy for our cinematic adventure!
So off to the northside we go to pick up Gigi and pawpaw and go see Hop. We got there in perfect time, right when the previews were starting. I knew that it would be key for them to not wait in the theater for too long before something started on the screen. There were two previews that were pretty good. One for a pixar or dreamworks movie called Rio. Movie about birds, Will.I.Am. is a voice and it was pretty hysterical looking. I can see a dvd in our future. The other, both of my boys sat up right and got very excited about. KUNG FU PANDA 2!!!! That I think we will definately be hitting the theatres for again.
Hop was cute. The boys lost a little bit of interest right around the same time I did. There was about 15-20 minutes in the middle that I think they could have cut, I was definately loosing focus(of course that could have been because I was trying to keep my two and three year old from disturbing the rest of the audience). There was a really cute moment when something "shocking" happened, and Isaac gasped really loudly in the dead silent theater. That got a chuckle from almost everyone in there. The movie got them back in the end and they really enjoyed the popcorn and candy and just the "hugeness" if you will, of it all.
We went back to my mom's house after for a bit. I got my first taste of 3D television. Not a huge fan, but it might have been better if I didn't already have a headache. Pretty amazing how the stuff comes out at you. Definately something your eyes have to get used to.
Now our Sunday is winding down, it's about that time to pick up toys and head upstairs for pj's and bedtime. They say there will be thunderstorms tonight, so I'm expecting a packed bed if it gets severe. Nothing like snuggling up when it's raining and storming!
So off to the northside we go to pick up Gigi and pawpaw and go see Hop. We got there in perfect time, right when the previews were starting. I knew that it would be key for them to not wait in the theater for too long before something started on the screen. There were two previews that were pretty good. One for a pixar or dreamworks movie called Rio. Movie about birds, Will.I.Am. is a voice and it was pretty hysterical looking. I can see a dvd in our future. The other, both of my boys sat up right and got very excited about. KUNG FU PANDA 2!!!! That I think we will definately be hitting the theatres for again.
Hop was cute. The boys lost a little bit of interest right around the same time I did. There was about 15-20 minutes in the middle that I think they could have cut, I was definately loosing focus(of course that could have been because I was trying to keep my two and three year old from disturbing the rest of the audience). There was a really cute moment when something "shocking" happened, and Isaac gasped really loudly in the dead silent theater. That got a chuckle from almost everyone in there. The movie got them back in the end and they really enjoyed the popcorn and candy and just the "hugeness" if you will, of it all.
We went back to my mom's house after for a bit. I got my first taste of 3D television. Not a huge fan, but it might have been better if I didn't already have a headache. Pretty amazing how the stuff comes out at you. Definately something your eyes have to get used to.
Now our Sunday is winding down, it's about that time to pick up toys and head upstairs for pj's and bedtime. They say there will be thunderstorms tonight, so I'm expecting a packed bed if it gets severe. Nothing like snuggling up when it's raining and storming!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Happy Anniversary!
There is about six minutes left of our fourth anniversay. For the second year in a row Grover and I are not in the same state on our anniversary... which honestly is fine. We have never made a huge deal about it. Not even on the day we got married! Four years ago today I was three months pregnant with Lysander, Grover was hours away from leaving for six months for basic training and AIT, and we were running around trying to get everything done before he left. One of the things on our to do list was "Go get married". Honestly, it just made sense to get it on paper. I was pregnant, military insurance is amazing, and rather than pay through the nose to have our first child, I should be able to get on his insurance.
I don't mean to sound like I only wanted to marry him for practical reasons. I was, and still am, madly in love with him. The reason I waited so long was because I was holding on to a dream of a big beautiful wedding and big white princess dress. I just didn't want to get married in a court house. But get married in a court house I did, and I've never looked back. We've only ever looked forward in our marriage.
The day we got married we were looking forward to the next day when we'd start our six months apart. We were looking forward to the birth of our first son, Lysander. We were looking forward to being together again, as a family. Our frist six months of marriage was hard, but good. I think we both grew stronger being individuals during that time. We also grew more in love. Being away from him for that long made me that much more firm in the fact that I didn't WANT to be away from him. Did not WANT to, but I COULD be. I could survive being on my own. That was important for me to know as I had lived in my own appartment by myself for all of three months before I moved in with Grover. Even more important later on in our marriage as that was just the first of quite a few seperations we would have to go through.
What's funny is, we spent our first and second anniversaries together... but not our third and now our fourth. I have NO memory of what we did on our first and second anniversary. Our first anniversary we had a seven month old, and our second anniversary we had a 19 months old and a three month old. Our third anniversary I don't specifically remember either, mostly because we almost forgot about it all together. Grover was in Arizona finishing up his officer training and that's why we weren't together. This year he's in Seattle training for deployment to Iraq.
I think, as I remember the day we got married very clearly, I will also be able to remember our fourth anniversary fairly clearly. Partially because I'm writing about it in my blog. Mostly because I got up this morning, showered, got dressed and put on make up so that I could have a Skype date with my husband. Then about five seconds after we hung up on Skype, my doorbell rang and delivered to me was a basket of potted roses. They were potted roses because I am planning on planting a garden. So this way I have a rose bush to put in my garden which will forever after be our anniversary bush. :) Grover didn't send me just flowers, he sent me flowers with thought behind it. Last but not least, he called 20 minutes before midnight to make sure he talked to me again before it wasn't our anniversary anymore.
That's why I married him. Not because we were pregnant and the insurance was better, but because he gets me, and he takes the time to be thoughtful. No matter the distance, we still find ways to make sure we love eachother. All that being said, I much prefer being as close as possible to one another! :)
Now, yet again, we are looking forward. Looking forward to three weeks from now when he's home for three days. Looking forward to the adventure that it will be going through our first deployment experience. Looking forward to a fifteen day R&R at some point during the year. Looking forward to when he's done with the deployment. Also, looking forward to every day in between. As much as it's good to look forward, to move forward, you have to live in the moment. He has to enjoy the experience of being in Iraq and doing his duty. I will be enjoying every single moment of my children and their next year of growth, excitement and laughter.
There is one last thing I'll be looking forward to.... The year 2014... the year I will turn thirty... the year Grover will turn 40... and the year we will celebrate our 7 year anniversary late, or our 8 year anniversary early. The year that we will be going to Italy and having the wedding I've always dreamed of. A little smaller... a few less people... but also two more people who I am so blessed to say will be at my wedding. Lysander and Isaac will be there to share in the experience with us. Rest assured... 7 and a half years later or not, there will still be a FABULOUS dress. Better late than never!
Happy Anniversary G! Love you. :)
I don't mean to sound like I only wanted to marry him for practical reasons. I was, and still am, madly in love with him. The reason I waited so long was because I was holding on to a dream of a big beautiful wedding and big white princess dress. I just didn't want to get married in a court house. But get married in a court house I did, and I've never looked back. We've only ever looked forward in our marriage.
The day we got married we were looking forward to the next day when we'd start our six months apart. We were looking forward to the birth of our first son, Lysander. We were looking forward to being together again, as a family. Our frist six months of marriage was hard, but good. I think we both grew stronger being individuals during that time. We also grew more in love. Being away from him for that long made me that much more firm in the fact that I didn't WANT to be away from him. Did not WANT to, but I COULD be. I could survive being on my own. That was important for me to know as I had lived in my own appartment by myself for all of three months before I moved in with Grover. Even more important later on in our marriage as that was just the first of quite a few seperations we would have to go through.
What's funny is, we spent our first and second anniversaries together... but not our third and now our fourth. I have NO memory of what we did on our first and second anniversary. Our first anniversary we had a seven month old, and our second anniversary we had a 19 months old and a three month old. Our third anniversary I don't specifically remember either, mostly because we almost forgot about it all together. Grover was in Arizona finishing up his officer training and that's why we weren't together. This year he's in Seattle training for deployment to Iraq.
I think, as I remember the day we got married very clearly, I will also be able to remember our fourth anniversary fairly clearly. Partially because I'm writing about it in my blog. Mostly because I got up this morning, showered, got dressed and put on make up so that I could have a Skype date with my husband. Then about five seconds after we hung up on Skype, my doorbell rang and delivered to me was a basket of potted roses. They were potted roses because I am planning on planting a garden. So this way I have a rose bush to put in my garden which will forever after be our anniversary bush. :) Grover didn't send me just flowers, he sent me flowers with thought behind it. Last but not least, he called 20 minutes before midnight to make sure he talked to me again before it wasn't our anniversary anymore.
That's why I married him. Not because we were pregnant and the insurance was better, but because he gets me, and he takes the time to be thoughtful. No matter the distance, we still find ways to make sure we love eachother. All that being said, I much prefer being as close as possible to one another! :)
Now, yet again, we are looking forward. Looking forward to three weeks from now when he's home for three days. Looking forward to the adventure that it will be going through our first deployment experience. Looking forward to a fifteen day R&R at some point during the year. Looking forward to when he's done with the deployment. Also, looking forward to every day in between. As much as it's good to look forward, to move forward, you have to live in the moment. He has to enjoy the experience of being in Iraq and doing his duty. I will be enjoying every single moment of my children and their next year of growth, excitement and laughter.
There is one last thing I'll be looking forward to.... The year 2014... the year I will turn thirty... the year Grover will turn 40... and the year we will celebrate our 7 year anniversary late, or our 8 year anniversary early. The year that we will be going to Italy and having the wedding I've always dreamed of. A little smaller... a few less people... but also two more people who I am so blessed to say will be at my wedding. Lysander and Isaac will be there to share in the experience with us. Rest assured... 7 and a half years later or not, there will still be a FABULOUS dress. Better late than never!
Happy Anniversary G! Love you. :)
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