Dan Wheldon

So many times today the tragic death of Dan Wheldon has popped in to my head. I'm really not one to obsess about sad events in the world. I care and include in my prayers the people who are involved, but normally I don't get too freaked out by things. I just can't stop thinking about how sad it is that this young husband, and father of two little boys died so suddenly yesterday.

Of course I know exactly WHY I can't stop thinking about his wife and sons. I have been standing on the brink of being that woman for the last six months. I absolutely do NOT dwell on this, but I am perfectly clear that at any given moment someone could show up here to tell me that my life and my son's lives will never be the same. I don't think about it much because it's terrifying to think about. I have no idea how I'd truly react to it. I'm sure that I would fall off one edge or the other. I'd either break down completely or I wouldn't be able to deal with it at all on an emotional level. I'd like to think at first I would just get affairs in order and take care of our life and our sons and not break down... but I also can see how easy it would be to totally shut down and not be able to do anything but cry and lay in bed.

As I let myself think about it, just for the purpose of writing this, I really hope I could do a balance of both. When something so tragic, so unimaginable happens, you know the person who is gone would not want you to be sad and inconsolable, just as if it was you, you would want people to be okay and eventually go on with life. I suppose the best way to honor someone is to continue on with your life and do all the things that that person would want you to do and to have and to experience.

The only comfort I can see for Dan Wheldon's wife is that her husband left a truly good legacy for his sons. I'm not a big racing fan, but being that I live in Indianapolis, I know who two time Indy 500 winner Dan Wheldon is. Whenever the news would talk about him it would always be to say what a good person he was, a good father, and an asset to the sport. There will be no end to the stories his young sons will grow up hearing and a plethera of news coverage and video and pictures of their father. Hopefully on some level they will feel like they knew him. When it comes to my sons, on a subconcious level I know I take a million pictures and write in this blog and write in a journal to them and make scrapbooks and make sure that they know and are close to my close friends and family so that if there was ever a time I or Grover wasn't there for them, they would know exactly how much we love them and would have more than enough access to information about who we are and what we believed in.

As sad as this man's death was, it reinforces to me that there is not always tomorrow. That every day I will tell my kids and husband and family that I love them and to enjoy every moment of our journey through life.